Honest Conversations in the FIRE Community
As the world continues to change, conversations about money and personal finance seem are even more important to me. At its core, money is both personal and political. It influences how we spend our time, where we live, which medical treatments we get. Like I say, Money Talks.
The other day, someone shared a Reddit post from r/financialindependence subreddit. Tdlr: OP has been able to FIRE (retire early) at the age of thirty and his life isn’t where he wants it to be. So much so, that he described himself as depressed. A lot of focus we have around financial independence talks about the freedom that it gives us to live our life on our terms. However, when you do retire. What type of life do you have to retire to? And, are there limitations to the positive impact financial freedom can have in our life?
I do think money solves a lot of problems, especially for working class people. The man in this post is clearly unhappy with his life (which is the main idea around his post). He spent most of his professional career being strategic enough to retire at the age of 30. However, at the same time, he's still wondering what he needs to change in his life. While I understand his struggle, I still think that he's in a good position to grow. Because he is already retired, he has one thing that a lot of us don't have and that's free time. When we want to improve our lives, especially our personal lives, free time is something that is useful. For a lot of us, our free time is scheduled around our traditional 9-5 job and maybe even our side hustles. So, this means that maybe we don't have as much time to spend cooking a nice dinner, spending time with loved ones, or exploring a new hobby. However, in this situation he is much different than the majority of us. Let's consider the average 30-year-old. They typically have a full-time job because it’s what their life requires. He is free from this and now has the time to ask questions about how he wants to spend his life.
This is one example of the more complex conversations we can have about personal finance and how it affects our reality. His open schedule was supposed to liberate him, yet, he still feels like something is missing. This is something many experience when they retire, however, they’re usually decades older than him. Retirement can allow people the freedom to explore their hobbies and passions, like addition art classes or longer vacations with loved ones. This is what most of us hope for, but not all are able to carry this out.
Even though he's not where he wants to be. He does have that space to figure out what works for him and what doesn't. If you read the post, you see how he emphasizes the need for personal relationships that are also meaningful to him. In addition to this being about his retirement, I also think this is a side effect of the pandemic. Since the pandemic has happened, I think a lot of people are reexamining their personal relationships or just any relationship where they spend a lot of time with the other person. For example. I’m much more likely to spend my free time speaking with people I love and respect because of the pandemic. As he describes his life, he also mentions his break-up, which I think could be another reason why he feels lonely. I know it takes me some time to adjust to be single after a long-term relationship. When we’re in a long-term relationship many of us make future plans together and the romantic partner becomes like a best friend also. Losing this type of relationship (even if it’s for the best) can be a major change in your life, and the feeling of loneliness hit a bit harder. I think the combination of the pandemic and his break-up may be making his situation a little bit more difficult than someone around his age that was able to retire a couple years ago, like, 2017.
Although I'm not sure FIRE is the type of personal finance strategy I would choose for myself, I understand the motivation of this community. If you look at a lot of the posts on this subreddit, you'll notice people are really just looking forward to being able to wake up when they want and slow down while living their life. Even for people who enjoy material things (like me) sometimes we do just want things that are simple and take time to take care of ourselves and the people that we love.
The other thing I found interesting about his post was where he says he’d seen similar stories and thought he wouldn’t have this experience. Being able to retire at this age shows he is disciplined and able to use his experience to accomplish his career and finance goals. These personality traits can be helpful in all areas of your life, but that doesn’t mean it will translate into his personal life. Romantic relationships and friendships take time to develop and keep. He doesn’t have a traditional life of a 30 something (which he also mentions as a barrier), but I still think he can find his footing with this new life. Despite all of the things that he is expressing, I do think he's going to experience some relief and definitely some joy coming up in his life. The “What’s next?” question can be overwhelming and lonely. At the same time, he has time to ask those bigger questions.
Some people mentioned that he could start working again, maybe trying a different job or working less hours. This could help him get the structure he now feels like he is missing. I also saw some people suggest he start regularly volunteering, which I think is a good idea. Volunteering would give him opportunities to connect and help other people in his community. The more time he does spend with himself, and hopefully also his community, the more he'll be able to decide what he wants out of life.
